Note: This photo gallery has been updated to correctly identify the photo subjects.
In a special series, Pew’s “After the Fact” podcast explores the changing nature of the American family—from marriage trends to retirement finances—blending individual and family voices with expert perspectives on trends and their implications.
Sharon Cutler packs for a move with her husband, Steve, from Chicago to Florida, where they hope to reduce their of cost of living. The Cutlers are in their 70s and lack adequate savings for retirement. Sharon continues to work while also a caregiver for her husband. While the couple’s financial future is uncertain, Sharon remains positive: “The happiest time of my life is now. I’ve come into my own. I’ve become my own woman, and I feel good about myself. I feel challenged, which is good.”
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Patricia Cotton worked until she was 72 as a home health aide to have enough savings for retirement. That was longer than she had hoped and still there is little for extras. Today, her spending centers on travel to see her children and grandchildren, whose photos fill her Hyattsville, Maryland, home.
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Emma Bedford-Jack plays with her 2-year-old son, Silas, in their Pittsburgh living room. Emma and her wife, Angie Bedford-Jack, left New York City after Silas was born, spending most of their savings on a down payment for a home that could work for their growing family. Emma, now pregnant with their second child, is among the 92 percent of Americans for whom the American Dream means getting by, not getting ahead. She says it “would be totally fine if we were just comfortable and didn’t have any anxieties about where money was coming from.”
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Beth Riedeman looks over the shoulder of her 5-year-old son, Gray, as he draws after school at their home in Indianapolis. Beth, 39, is raising Gray on a single mother’s budget and takes things one day at a time. While managing a growing spreadsheet of household expenses and a busy schedule working full time volunteering, and caring for her son, she finds it hard to think ahead to retirement or saving for Gray’s college education. “If you think that the American Dream is a checklist of things, I feel like I’ve achieved everything my parents set out for me to achieve. However, somewhere along the line, that list got bigger. … You’re always chasing that light, and the light just keeps staying 10 feet away.”
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Once children come into the picture, life gets more complicated—and a lot more expensive. For a middle-class American family, raising a child costs $233,610, not including a college education, according to the U.S. Department of Agriculture. Mike Buchmann, above, is a high school art teacher and football coach in Mishawaka, Indiana. His wife, Shannon, works as an accountant at a nearby university. They have three children, ages 3, 8, and 13, and are juggling the costs and demands of daily life: child care, mortgage, car payments, and other expenses, including student loans. At one point, when things were really tight, Mike drove for a ride-share company to make ends meet.
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A family photo hangs on the wall of the Bernsteins’ New York City apartment. For Tracey Bernstein, it’s a dream come true to have her family of four, from left: Rhett, Jason (Tracey’s husband), Aaron, Tracey, and their dog, Rein.
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Tracey Bernstein picks up her sons, Rhett and Aaron, from day care after work. She leaves for her job at 5 a.m. so she can commute home earlier in the afternoon and have more time with her children. Although she had them later in life—one when she was 38 and the other at 40—she says, “I have what would be a ‘traditional’ family. I’m an everyday mom, and I try to do it all.”
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Cara Lemieux greets host Dan LeDuc and audio technician Carmelo Mangione at her front door in Newtown, Connecticut. A single mom, she unexpectedly became pregnant with her daughter, Ellie, at age 30. Later on, Lemieux decided to have another child and at 38 gave birth to her son, L.J. (pictured).
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Cara Lemieux works from home as a digital communications strategist, a job that affords her the ability to get her daughter safely onto the school bus in the morning. With support from her family nearby and an au pair watching her son while she works during the day, she’s managing her busy household. “I know that my education, my family, and my earning potential have afforded me options that aren’t available to everybody else,” she says. She told host Dan LeDuc that it breaks her heart that there are people who would like to have kids and aren’t able to.
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Julianne Simson, 24, rides the New York City subway with “After the Fact” host Dan LeDuc on her commute home from work. She lives with her partner, Ian Donnelly, 25, in Brooklyn. Although they have been in a relationship for more than eight years, they are in no rush to get married. Many couples their age feel the same way: Americans today are waiting seven years longer on average to tie the knot than they did in 1968, according to data from the U.S. Census Bureau. That puts the average age for marriage at nearly 30 for men and close to 28 for women, up from 23 and 21 a generation ago. You can learn more about the changing nature of American family life in a four-part series from Pew’s podcast, “After the Fact."
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A map of the world and travel photos hang on the wall of the apartment that Julianne Simson and Ian Donnelly share in Brooklyn. Friends and family often ask when they’ll get married, but Simson says that for now they’re happy and secure in their commitment to each other. “We’ve just really created this really fun life together. And it’s really special because he doesn't have to say much for me to realize that I've become his favorite person to spend his days with,” she says.
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Andrew Singh and Vicky Bonilla, both 28 and from Silver Spring, Maryland, have been engaged for two years and together for more than 10, but they haven’t set a wedding date. They say waiting longer to get married has given them time to grow as individuals and as a couple. Bonilla hopes to achieve a greater sense of financial stability and advance in her career before the pair makes things official.
Samantha Parkes Photography
Ashley Garcia, 34, married Chuy Garcia when she was 31. She had spent her 20s pursuing a law career but returned to her hometown of Plymouth, Indiana, after reconnecting with Chuy, a local firefighter and close friend from high school. On their wedding day, pictured above, Ashley became not just a wife but a mother to Chuy’s two sons from a previous relationship, Diego and Devante (pictured at left). Also pictured is Sara Li Sturtevant, Ashley’s maid of honor.
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Ashley and Chuy Garcia sit with their 2-year-old daughter, Naomi, at their home in Plymouth, Indiana, where they also live with Chuy’s two teenage sons from a previous relationship. Ashley Garcia, now a director at a nonprofit, says she’s glad she pursued other experiences before settling down. She is expecting another child and is happy to focus on family life. “I … know pretty affirmatively that if I hadn't had those life experiences, I might be a bit regretful where I am in life now,” she says.
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After all the hard work and child rearing, do Americans get to finally relax and retire with some financial stability? Research shows the golden age of retirement doesn’t always shine.
The American Family: The Financial Crunch of Families
From diapers to day care and beyond, it’s getting more expensive to raise a family in the U.S. And just keeping up with daily costs makes saving for a rainy day or retirement all the harder. We speak with three families about what it takes to make it work—and what keeps them up at night.
American women are waiting longer to have children—but are more likely to have kids than they were a decade ago. Also, 1 in 4 parents living with a child is not married.
Does putting off marriage mean people no longer want to say “I do?” To learn more about this trend, we spoke to couples who are waiting to wed—in the first installment of our four-part series on today’s American family.
Welcome to “After the Fact,” a podcast from The Pew Charitable Trusts that brings you data and analysis on the issues that matter to you. Experts from Pew and other special guests discuss the numbers and trends shaping some of society’s biggest challenges, then go beyond the facts with nonpartisan analysis and action.
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